Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
