I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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