It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
