We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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