Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
