Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
