Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
