So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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