Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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