Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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