Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
