I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
