organizing the empties. That sober.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
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I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
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having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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