You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize