My hand turned me down
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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