There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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