So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
