Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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