If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
