Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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