I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
