TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
sex in a hospital.. check
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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