My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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