Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
