look no pants
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
