I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
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