I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
