____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
