Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
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You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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