You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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