you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
