You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize