i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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