i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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