She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college