home. puking in laundry basket.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes