We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
