I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.