I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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