worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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