omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
