So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
