ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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