If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
