We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
