my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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