It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
