Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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