found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
