yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
