I can't breathe out the right side of my face
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I smell like Dick and happiness
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
