never play flip cup with pint glasses
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
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