part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
