she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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