If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
