I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
