I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
