I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
