i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Fuck appropriateness.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
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Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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