How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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