We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Oh god it's open bar.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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