the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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