How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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