How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
