Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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