Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
