is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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