so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
